Sealand | Peter Kirkland

[Peter Kirkland]

Peter Kirkland

Gender: Male

Age: Thirteen

Ethnicity: English

Sexuality: Undecided

Occupation: Orphan

True Name: Lost- (adj.) - denoting something that has been taken away or cannot be recovered. This word is carved deep down his left wrist, almost invisible in the net of scars on the left side of his body, but plainly there for those who look. He got it early, at only five years old, but he already knew by then that he had been lost for a long time. Some people can’t see it below a sunny personality and an optimistic attitude, but it’s there. In some ways, he had been lost, never sure of his real purpose. In other ways, he had been lost, dropped on a beach never to be found again. He had been lost because he had lost his real childhood somewhere in the fight, he had been lost because he was always searching. He had been lost because the void within him was a black hole that even most other Named didn’t have. He is still lost. He will always be, even when he finds his other half, but perhaps then he will be lost somewhere as opposed to lost nowhere at all.

Role: Fighter

Appearance: Peter is about four feet tall and thinner than most would consider a good thing, since he weighs in at only fifty pounds. Most of his shape is accented by thin, wiry muscles and tanned skin. He has the most striking eyes, a vibrant, piercing blue, the same shade as the sea that he was found next to, the sort of eyes that he thought would connect him to his family but never did. He also has blonde, straight hair of medium length and bushy eyebrows to match. However, none of these things are the things people notice when they look at him. No, the first thing most people notice is the web of scars down the left side of his body. He refuses to talk about them. However, it is clear to those who know his story or know what scars look like that they were carved into his skin by jagged rocks. His Name is among them. His eyes are slightly slitted and he has tiny fangs. He has multi-colored cat ears, the left being orange with a tear through it and the right being white. His tail is white with an orange tip. It is safe to assume that the breed would hold no pedigree, however.

Despite his somewhat frightening features, it’s hard to be scared of Peter when he smiles, which is surprisingly often given his situation. His whole face is normally alight with enthusiasm and happiness, his ears quivering with excitement. His eyes are what betray this, as there a slight emptiness that will remain in them for his whole life. He wears a sailor hat all of the time, and his one nice outfit matches it. Normally, though, he’s in rather nondescript clothes.

Personality:
The first personality trait most people notice about Peter is his optimism. He looks on the bright side of things so much that it nearly reaches the point of a personality that is not just cheerful but saccharine. The optimism can seem forced from time to time, though rarely is it completely forced, because Peter really does naturally want things to go well. He looks at the best possible outcome for everything, so time and time again he is found looking through a phonebook on a page from "Kent" to "Kirkley", hoping that perhaps there will be a "Kirkland" on it, and that perhaps that Kirkland will be recognizably related to him. When talking to other people, he always helps them see the bright side of life, because that's just how he is. He's that spring that, no matter how hard you press down on it, never snaps.

Except you can snap a spring, at least, you can if it's cold enough and the wire is stiff enough and the force applied is great enough. Similarly, you can break Peter easily if you poke in the right places, because certain places have been broken many times over and glued together many times over so that they only take a single tap to break all over again. The first place to tap at would be his past, a corrosive past that constantly whispers "You aren't wanted, Peter. You aren't wanted, Peter," until it becomes all he can hear. To Peter, all he knows is that one of his parents left him on a rocky shore just before the tide came up and then didn't come back for him. In other words, they left him to die. That does horrible things for his self-esteem, which results in himself occasionally over-inflating his ego to cover for it, and perhaps to convince himself that he's worth it. His penchant for exaggeration, in general, is rooted in this.

Sometimes, though, it comes from another structurally unsound crack- he is afraid of being left behind. He can be somewhat easy to manipulate from time to time due to this, as all you have to do to make Peter act how you want him to is to hug and love him before asking, in a sweet voice, if he can just do this one favor for you... He clings tight to those relationships he manages to hold on to. He needs them, really, and he never gets them, so when he does get them he holds onto them. Adoption is too much to ask, but a home for a few days would light up his world. Similarly, leaving that home shatters it, and it's back to gluing together the spring. Those few days of the crash are the days Peter is least likely to be his normal optimistic self. However, on the days someone is loving him, he's more genuinely optimistic than ever before, not a bit of it feeling forced. He's and extrovert, really, he's just been forced to learn to be alone.

Peter's also very protective from time to time. He hates seeing people younger than he is or different from everyone else being picked on, if only because he was so picked on before he learned how to properly use a fist. When successfully angered (which is surprisingly hard to do; he might act angry, but getting him well and truly angry takes talent) by this or something else, he becomes impulsive, and yet another crack in the spring appears: he's desperate. Whenever he fights, whenever he clings, whenever he sings, whenever he swims, he's desperate. After all, he's a mostly ostracized orphan. What does he have to loose? Everything he needs and wants he needs and wants desperately, perhaps hoping that if he dreams hard enough, it will all come true. In a fight, this normally means that he comes out on top because he won't give up. In a relationship, this normally means that he comes out on the bottom because he tries too hard. He's also stubborn as heck when he wants to be.

Most telling of all, though is the slight sadness that remains within his eyes. He wants, he dreams, but he never gets it. He's near recognized as the one who should be adopted or the child long ago gone missing or as a friend or as anything other than a little bit too unusual. It's a crack in another crack in another crack that glows because he still lets his soul out and his soul is still optimistic. However, in each crack is another reason why his spring is broken. That' shy there's such sadness in his eyes; he's lost. He's been lost in the shuffle, lost in the system, and lost in the hearts of everyone around him, his own glowing heart buried by baggage a million pounds thick. Yet, somehow, the spring still works. It should be impossible,, with all of the cracks and all of the weight, but the spring still works. Those lucky enough to realize that are blessed. After all, Peter is an optimist, and he is always very honest about his opinion, even if it's a loud and exaggerated one from time to time, even if he's clingy beyond belief. There' said layer of baggage that means he will always be lost, but occasionally, if you try to be lost with him for a moment, it will all work out.

After all, even if Peter has so much darkness, there must be light! Let there be that light in his movements, in the fact that tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow will come and the birds will sing and a gold halo will surround the earth and it will all be correct again and he will not be lost alone! Let there be light, and the spring rebounds again and again and again, even as cracks are glued together and broken into again and again. Because he's a good kid, just one that's impossible to really see at first glance.

Leitmotif: "White Winter Hymnal", The Fleet Foxes - 
{A leitmotif is a recurring set of musical notes that accompanies a particular character or place. A common modern example is Darth Vader and the Imperial March. Because I am a very musical person, each of my characters tends to attach themselves to one of these.} "White Winter Hymnal" is an amazing, warm song that you can listen to again and again for the steady pulses of the drums, the upbeat tune, and the beautiful harmony. Listen to the lyrics, though, and you can't help but wonder how upbeat it really is. At the end, the song calms down again, creating a somewhat more melancholy mood that pulls you out of it again as it fades to nothing. This song is Peter's leitmotif for that reason- it is something that is beautiful and upbeat, always marching forward at a steady pulse. However, just beneath Peter's own upbeat pulse are lyrics that aren't so upbeat, a somewhat more frightening sound that pushes people away again. As it fades away, most people cannot decide if they love it for the rhythm or are frightened of it for the lyrics, so they walk away.

Likes:
Optimism- Peter likes being optimistic whenever possible and having the best possible outlook that he can manage. He tries very hard to make sure everyone around him is optimistic too, because they really need to be, in his sort of situation.

Affection- Peter just melts whenever someone shows him affection, and this is the surefire way to get him to like someone. He clings to what affection he can get partially because he is lonely and partially because he's afraid he'll lose it again. Either way, he craves affection and constantly seeks it out.

The Water- With a few qualifiers. Peter loves being near water when it is a still body of water. He'll swim in it, play in it, and frolic in it. He's actually a very strong swimmer, despite having had very few lessons on it. It's sort of a requirement for him in his mind, because he doesn't want to drown. However, the moment he discovers a moving body of water, his first instinct is, understandably, to flee.

Playing Around- Whatever chance he gets, Peter tries to act like a normal kid. He's discovered that he's quite good at playing the complicated games of a young child, the sort where everyone imagines that they are some pirate or another, or perhaps superheroes and villains, and wind up getting into a large, complicated battle for liberty and all that. Even if he has to play the villain again and again, he's willing, because that means he's being included.

Being Included- His whole life he's been an outsider, but wouldn't it just be grand if he could feel like a real, whole person? Wouldn't it be great if there was somewhere he actually fit in and everyone accepted him as a normal kid? Wouldn't it be great if everyone recognized him for what he was? Wouldn't it?

Rain- Peter's always liked rain, though it makes little sense if you ask why. Something about it is just wonderful, or at least, to Peter it is. It's cool and moist and nice and all that.

Dreaming- He can't ever give up, so he's got to dream of the best possible opportunity! He's always dreaming of something, whether it be a normal family or his other Half or finding out who his parents were or discovering that they had, in fact, wanted him. He's going to keep on dreaming whether it's impossible or not, simply because that is who Peter is.

Ice Cream- His favorite flavor is mint. The rare treat is simply brilliant, he thinks!

His Hat- It still has his name sewn into the inside of it. It was something his parents gave to him, so it is something that proves he was at least at one point part of a family. It is an anchor, one that he desperately needs. Stealing it is one of the only surefire ways of provoking him into a fight.

Dislikes: 
Fighting- Peter is, sadly, quite good at fighting, but he doesn't do it unless provoked. When he does, he can throw a pretty powerful punch for a kid his size. but he hates doing it. It seems pointless. Why hurt someone else when, hopefully, you can find another way? As a result, the situation is normally desperate before he gets involved.

Pessimism- It's just too harsh and too real-seeming for him to stand, you see. He needs optimism, because it helps him hold on to being cheerful. Looking at the worst possible outcome seems silly because then there's nothing for to hope for. In his mind, everyone has to stay as strong as they can be!

Being Excluded- It's the story of his life. He hates it. He hates not being one of them, hates not being invited anywhere, hates not being recognized as a friend or a person, hates it. He just wants to be part of everyone's group, not the kid that's stuck being left behind in no group at all!

Reality- Frankly, Peter's reality kinda sucks. The reality is that he's an orphan whose Name appeared early enough to unnerve people, whose other Half might not even be Named yet, or if he/she has been they're probably much older than him, who is unlikely to ever be adopted at his age and unlikely to even figure out who his parents are, and who is generally avoided due to the very reality that causes his eyes to be sad. Yes, Peter dislikes reality. That's why he'd got to keep on dreaming, you see.

Being Moved- Another fact of life for Peter, but it's hard, and it gives him no chance to make roots somewhere before he's moved again. Blackpool is only the most recent in this chain of movement, and he doesn't like it, or at least, doesn't like it yet.

Watching Others be Hurt- Another way to pull Peter into a fight is to hurt someone else. He will step in and try to help them, especially if they've ever once been nice to him. Be nice to Peter, and he will protect you for all he is worth, because to him, he is worth only those who are nice to him.

Spinach- That stuff is icky! It's all vegetable-y and stuff! He doesn't like many other green plants either, like many kids his age, but his hatred of spinach makes the top of the list.

Lying- He can't stand to lie and almost never does. He has been known to exaggerate things greatly, even to the point where it is almost lying, but he rarely outright lies. He also hates it when people lie to him, I.E, "Oh, there are plenty of people here who would love to adopt you, Peter!" or "I'm sure the kids in this town will treat you much better than the ones in the last."

Fears:
Abandonment- To Peter, this is a perfectly rational fear, since, as far as he can tell, that's all most people do. He doesn't mind being alone so much as he minds when people continuously leave him behind and act as though he's unwanted. He is very scared that, someday, he'll be left behind in some town or another where there isn't someone to take care of him and this time he will die, this time he will be alone forever. As a result, he becomes clingy when someone shows affection towards him, afraid that they'll leave him soon after.

Drowning- This is actually a clinical phobia for Peter, brought on by the incident when he was younger. It creates an odd paradox, because Peter still loves the water. However, the ocean is something he refuses to go near, even if he loves swimming everywhere else, because his old phobia will crop up and he literally cannot make his feet move another step as his heart beats close to killing him. 

Never Finding a Family- It doesn't need to be the Kirklands, really. He just has a desperate desire for family, a desperate desire for someone to adopt him or something to give him a real, solid home. There's a heavy chance, though, that he will never find one, as fewer and fewer people adopt the older a child gets. The chances of finding the correct Kirklands are even tinier, but he's still looking.

Strengths:
Desperation- Peter displays a certain attitude of having nothing to lose when you manage to provoke him to fight. As a result, as he feels like he has nothing to loose and everything to gain, he tends to be the one more determined to win and the one who puts his full power behind every strike. He will also do things that most would not even consider due to this desperation.

Empathy- Know thy enemy as you know yourself. Peter is someone that, should they not be frightened away by his situation or appearance, is wonderful to talk to, due to his ability to understand the emotions of others. In battle, this comes out in being able to predict where someone or something is moving.

High Pain Tolerance- This shouldn't matter for a Fighter, but as Peter's unlikely to wait for his Sacrifice to be ready and is even more unlikely to let his Sacrifice take all of the blows, it does for him.

Precociousness- Don't underestimate him because he's thirteen, be afraid of him because he's smarter than you think he is. He's uncommonly smart for a kid his age, and even though it rarely shows on paper, it certainly shows in battle. Perhaps most of his smarts developed as street smarts and common sense, not book smarts.

Weaknesses:
Desperation- Peter will make stupid mistakes, reckless decisions, and everything in-between while fighting due to his 'nothing-to-lose' attitude. That means that he tends to get more injured after fighting than most people do. He's also more likely to chose going in fists blazing than going in with spell work.

Stubbornness- Peter is ridiculously stubborn from time to time and does not take orders well at all. This is a problem outside of battle, too; his annoying stubbornness causes him to put his foot down where he really shouldn't. In battle, though, it means that he just won't listen when everything tells him to act a way he doesn't want to, and, if he thinks his idea is better, he might even resort to ignoring an order from his Sacrifice.

Childishness- He may be precocious, but a child is still a child all the same. He may not have much of a childhood, but that roes't mean that he doesn't act his age more often than not. The only problem is when the fact that he can't afford to be a child comes back to bite him.

His Left Side- It's much weaker than his right, and it's still a bit torn up. Perhaps what makes this more of a weakness is how obvious it is. It doesn't take empathy to figure out where this weakness it, it simply takes eyesight.

History: Once upon a time, the ahead of the Kirkland family was stressed. He was never at home, but he needed to be. His son shouted at him and broke the law, his son who he thought would go far. His business was in a slump, albeit one most people wouldn't notice. He was at a bar, drinking his sorrows away. Enter a woman whose business was erasing sorrows a different way. She sat down next to him and convinced the bartender to let him keep on drinking. By the end of the night, the head Kirkland's wallet and head were both a little lighter. Two months pass, and the woman can no longer ignore it. She can' tad ford an abortion and the small amount of faith she has left won't allow it. Another seven months later, there is a boy, and she names him Peter, and gives him his father' slats name. She tells no one. The other man is too drunk to remember anything but guilt. For someone who's living relied on the whims of unfaithful men, life is hard, and there is very little money to be had. Another mouth to feed was simply too much. Peter had to go, but some tiny mother's instinct still grasped the idea that he could live. Finally, after meeting a client, a police officer comes off to arrest her. Peter is left on a rocky beach alone, because it was only supposed to be three minutes. The woman shoots herself the next morning. The one-year-old Peter, however, gets his left arm caught when he tips some rocks off-balance and the tide begins to come in. Waves that seemed unthreatening before were suddenly instruments of death. Luckily, a young Swedish tourist noticed Peter and brought him to an orphanage. Inside his hat, which he had improbably hung onto during his ordeal on the rocks, the words 'Peter Kirkland' were sewn.

This is all before he turns two. He remembers none of this and no one has put together all of the pieces but for his mother, who certainly isn't talking. Peter always assumed, therefore, that he would never find his family and that his family had either died or left him alone. No one else knows any of his real past. The most that even the orphanage knows is that he was discovered by the sea, as if he had appeared from nowhere in the ocean. The 'Sea Boy' was briefly an interesting story, but no one asked to adopt him. The harried matron of a nearby orphanage did instead. The place wasn't too horribly underfunded, but it was right. More than that, in that certain orphanage, Peter was the only child that was so detached. True, he was very, very hyper, and he knew that things could always be worse, but he just never got truly close with anyone at all. He got friendly, sure, but never truly close. Up until he was five, the matron alternated between coddling the boy to make up for his traumatic experiences and shunning him for his bizarre eyes and his attitude that was both exuberant and veiled.

Shortly after he turned five, things got difficult for everyone. A group of bullies in the orphanage were tired of Peter pestering them and decided to take matters into their own hands. Once of them- no one would say quite who- pushed him, and he nearly broke his neck when there turned out to be a pair of stairs behind him. Angry, the five-year-old mimicked the older children and punched one in the jaw with his left hand. As he did so, it was clear that there was a scar on his wrist that had not been there before. Seconds later, it became clear that it was a Name, and that the name was "Lost". He took this much more calmly than the bullies around him, saying something along the lines of "Awesome! I have a real Name!" because he felt that maybe it would stop him from feeling like he meant nothing from time to time. The bullies, however, were frightened, because whoever heard of a five-year-old who had been through enough to be Named? In the end, Peter sat alone at the bottom of a stairwell, heart pounding, heart searching for something invisible.

Unfortunately, his Name coming to light was just going to make life harder for him. No one knew how to handle him anymore, which he thought was silly. They treated him the same as before and that would make sense! Unfortunately, it didn't make sense to anyone else. Many adults thought his Name a little bit disturbing. Others found the fact that it was across his wrist like a knife scar was frightening. Others were still unnerved by his eyes. Whatever the reason, he suddenly found himself getting shuffled around a lot more. No longer would he be coddled much at all, and when he was coddled, it tended to be from a distance. Sometime he would make friends in a particular new town, but often he would not. Everyone would like him, but everyone would keep their distance, too. There was once a girl that he met briefly, and they were good friends, but he doesn't know if she was his other Half or not, for she was not yet given a Name and may not have even had one. Either way, they were both ten, and for that years he had a true friend. Them though, he was moved away again, and he hasn't found the sweet girl since,

In one of the most recent shuffles, he found himself here. Here means that he found himself in Blackpool. He goes to a public school. He is looking for his other Half, but mostly, he's looking for his family. In every town, he's searched the phone book for Kirkland. None of the ones he's found so far could possibly be related. What makes Blackpool any different?

RP Sample:

Peter's eyes soon found themselves looking into Gianna's, seeing her gain a softer, almost glassy look. For a moment, that thriggered a thought. Was something wrong? Her eyes were soft, she was beginning to hug him back, but something about her motions and muscles seemed wrong. He shook it off, starting to shake a little himself. Gianna was in a bad state, wasn't she? Maybe once they all got out (as they would, he was certain), China would help. He thought he remembered him being good with children, but then again, he wasn't sure. He didn't know him that well. However, in the now, her tears wer making him upset. He couldn't be upset now! He had to keep a happy face, so that Gianna wouldn't break down more,

As she rocked back and forth, shifting her hands, he knew he had to be silent and simply help her, for he knew those sort of things were nervous habits. He did things like that when he was upset, too, except he played with his hat or his compass. He took his hand and ran it through her hair, hoping he ease comforting her correctly. He wanted to get good at it. When he became a grand empire, he would make sure everyone was comforted when they were sad! It was a necessity! It was the right thing to do!

So, when Gianna burried her head in his chest, clinging tightly to his shirt, he thought nothing of it but to rub her back. That was right, wasn't it? For a moment, the slightly shaking boy wanted to have his back rubbed too. If only Mom Finland or Dad Sweden was here! They would know- no. Maybe they wouldn't, he finally admitted, as he shook a little harder. Maybe Mom Finland was blind. Maybe Dad Sweden was searching frantically. Maybe England was caught somewhere, trying to use his stupid magic to escape. Maybe- A few tears leaked out. He shook harder. They were looking for him! He just knew they were! He tried to hide his tears as his eyes closed and Gianna moved to really hug him and he hummed something that sounded like "We'll find a way, I-"

Suddenly, there was a powerful, burning sting in his neck. His eyes widened. It had been a long time since he had felt anything like it. The metal beneath his skin normally blocked needles and other such things fairly well. Desperately hoping what he thought had just happened had not happened, he looked frantically for some weird genetically-modified bee or something, begging in his mind for what had happened not to be true. No. No! She couldn't have- why would she do this? His pupils dialated, his heart rate sped up. She couldn't do this! No! His head shot upwards at the hard, lying eyes of Gianna Evans as she threw the obviously reinforced needle onto the ground, glass shattering everywhere, a shard of it hitting and cutting his ankle from where he was still sitting, shell-shocked, on the floor. His mind was reeling. This couldn't be happening! It couldn't be happening again!

He was sitting on a white bed in a room in his territory, Fort Roughs. He was coughing constantly, shivers wracking his body. Peter was worried. His body felt heavy, useless, and there was nobody around, but it would be okay, right? Big Brother would come and save him, and this cold, useless feeling wouldn't stab at him anymore. Although, he hadn't responded to any of his letters. Maybe they weren't getting to him! Yeah! He had been sending them with Miss Seagull, since no one had been around for the past two years to take them to a postmaster, so maybe Miss Seagull was getting lost? He'd have to write more. He stood up to go to his desk. However, the moment he stood, his vision blurred, and he simply collapsed to the ground. He was too sick to stand up or walk, apparently, after two years without population or purpose.

Then, he was in the floor, propping himself up, sitting against the bed. He wasn't going to be able to get back into it like this! Why? Why was he stuck here alone like this? It didn't make sense! He didn't like it! He shook, wrapping his arms around himself, tears leaking from his eyes as he both cried and tried to comfort himself. He coughed as he cried, feeling like there was only junk in his lungs, no air, nothing to breathe. He was strong, though! He would live- or... Memories that he did not want at the moment came calling back through his hazy mind, lessons about what being a personification meant. If he had no human population, then had nothing to personify, did he? He began to cry harder, tears rolling down his cheeks, realizing that if he hadn't been saved by now, his Big Brother had left him for dead. Dead. He whimpered. He didn't want to die! He didn't want to hurt anymore! He just wanted it to go away!

Worse than any of this pain, though, was the betrayal, and, more prominently, the feeling of worthlessness. He wasn't worthy of him? His insecurities wrapped around his head until Peter stomped them down and constricted them, telling himself another, slightly less painful idea. It had all been the betrayal of that Man's fault, that, that, that...

"JERK!" he shouted, venom and fear and anger and mostly sadness in his voice as he aimed it at the blurry figure in front of him. Her final words were blurry, but Peter caught their gist as, feeling more and more blurry and exhausted, he dropped to the ground, sobbing. Why? Why did people keep on abandoning him? He tried very hard! He tried his hardest! It wasn't his fault he was a lump of metal in the Atlantic! And more importantly, why, why, he wondered as he pondered Gianna's final, almost sweet words, couldn't he ever, ever, muster up the will to hate them for it?

Suddenly, he though he saw a shadow cross his eyes, which was strange, since no one else had entered the room, and Peter had heard no sound. He looked up, but a hand reached down and finished pushing his half-lidded eyes shut.

"Nighty-night, Peter."

{{This is an old post from Fight or Flight, which, to my immense sorrow, is shutting down. (Like, seriously, my version of Peter would not exist as it does without that wonderfully dark and close site...) If you need a brand-new RP post, I'll get that for you.}}

OOC Alias: Peanut
Contact: PM me or through the CBox @ TheLostSeaChild
Time Zone: EST (UTC -5 hours)
Favorite Pairings: I'll pair Peter with just about anyone, really, as I haven't had a chance to do much with him in a romantic setting. I have a penchant for using things like this to pair my character with someone they would never possibly in a million years be paired with using canon, and so if someone else took that on I'd be really happy. However, the usual Latvia x Sealand or Sealand x Wy works too.
Rule Check: Rivers and roads, oh rivers and roads, rivers ‘till I reach you.

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